Traffic School is for Losers

Losers named Tricia.




I got pulled over last week. For speeding. I was going 48 in a 35 apparently. Here's how it happened:

I'm driving down NW Blvd on my way back to work on my lunchbreak (I had to run home and search the house for a rebate that's deadline was in 3 days--I hate rebates... but that's for another time). I'm driving along and pass a cop as I pull up to a stop light. No big deal. Anyway, I'd say 3/4 of a mile later I look back to see those horrifying blues and reds. great. In a panic, I frantically look around to find a place to pull over. none. Finally, after a couple hundred yards, we come to a cross street and I pull into a neighborhood.
The cop comes out
O: "do you know why i pulled you over today?"
T:"No, I'm sorry I don't"
thinking: actually i'd guess speeding but I'm afraid you might say because my registration is expired and then I'd have given myself away.
O: " well first, your seatbelt wasn't on"
thinking: hmm... then what is the belt strapped across my lap and down my torso?? wouldn't you have noticed me strapping it on as you pulled me over if i had just done it?
O: "and second, do you know what the speed limit is on this road?"
T: "no i'm sorry i dont"
O:"35 and you were clocked at 48"
thinking: really, because i passed you at a stoplight...
T:"oh i'm sorry officer I didnt realize"
O: "is there any reason you didnt pull over right away?"
T: "no sir, I just couldnt find a safe place to pull over"
O: "well... usually when people dont pull over right away they're hiding something..."
thinking: really??? Hiding something? at 12 o'clock in the afternoon? I'm sitting here in a turtleneck. do turtlenecks really scream possible threat to you?maybe if some hidden snake tattoo were peaking out the top of it, but nope. no neck snake tattoo here.

and so the conversation continued. Fast forward to the end of the story: My abnormally rebellious attitude and sarcastic comments were held inside but my attempted politeness and sincerely shakey voice got me no where. I have to go to traffic school. for 3 hours. on a saturday. cool.