Death by Pigeons

and no, i dont mean death by "a girl who tries to get dates with guys so they'll pay for stuff". i mean real life, dirty, nasty, not afraid of anything, pigeons.

Similarly to liz, i too have an unavoidable little death walk on my way into work. But unlike her, mine doesnt involve riding the train into the city and then taking the walk of shame past construction workers. I'd actually argue mine is quite worse. My situation involves driving to work and then walking into our office worried that i might not make it to lunch due to two grossly aggressive birds that have nested in our rafters.

i'm convinced these kamikazes camp out in until they see me coming and then swoop down and flutter around outside our door with harmful intent. I have a gut feeling that one day they will attack. last week, it was particularly bad and unfortunately in my vulnerable state i let out a few curse words while ducking my head searching for my keys. just my luck, and older woman was a few stores down and she watched the whole thing. i apologized but she just seemed horrified.

I hate them. i would like to call animal services and have them captured. I dont want to know what they would do to them. (honestly i would be ok knowing they were dead, but i dont want PETA to read this and come knock on my door).

Pigeons are gross, carry diseases, and arent even a little cute. I actually dont like most fowl on the whole, but these by far are the worst.

To prove my point, I google imaged pigeons and these were some of the first ones i found:


'nuff said.